The Courage and Determination of the Human Spirit

At two of the three track meets that I have attended thus far this year, that which impressed me the most was the courage and determination of a couple physically challenged athletes. For these athletes, the expression "physically challenged" was a truism; not a euphemism nor an attempt to be politically correct.

At OFSAA, the Ontario Track & Field High School Championships, this June a young man using a regular wheel chair competed with two other athletes who were equipped with racing chairs in the 1500m.

From the outset, we all knew, as did he, that he had no opportunity of winning. However this young man showed true courage and determination as he did his best and completed his race using the equipment that he had. The crowd appreciated his efforts.

Yesterday at the Canadian Track & Field Championships, for me, two athletes stood out. In both cases, they ran their races positionally at the back of the field in their events [400m and 10,000m]. However, I believe in both cases, they were the only athlete in their competition category so technically, they were front runners from start to finish.

A visually impaired young lady ran the 400m with her running partner (in essence, her eyes) rounding the track beside her. The spectators were too busy scurrying from the stands to take shelter from the pouring rain that started in earnest shortly after the race began to truly appreciate her efforts. I used to run 400's in high school. To run the race, unable to see clearly where the rest of the field is has got to be a trying ordeal.

In the final event of the day, a gentleman, probably in his 40's, ran the 10,000m in a field that include the Canadian record holder in the event. I was reminded a little of Terry Fox since this runner had one prosthetic leg. The crowd appreciated his gallant efforts.

What these three athletes demonstrated is the fact that you can allow life's challenges and obstacles to cripple you or to motivate you to find a means to overcome them. That is a lesson that we all need to learn for we all face seemingly insurmountable obstacles in our journey through life from time to time.

"The show must go on."

In the words of Taj Mahal's drummer, "The show must go on."

To say that they had had a few hiccups would be an extreme understatement. Delayed flights led to an unplanned overnight stay in Washington D.C., group members traveling to Toronto today [Sunday, June 27th] on two separate flights and worst of all, their instruments did not make it onto the plane.

When they took the stage, the audience was unaware of any of this. The fans had braved the elements on a rainy evening; make that a stormy Sunday night to see a Jazz music legend. They got what they came for.

Single again. Now what?

Hi there. It probably makes little difference to your heart whether you:

- were married or not.

- are gay or straight.

- young or old.

If you lost your beloved, the one to whom you committed your all; if ought but death separated you, right now, you are probably feeling pretty bummed out -- and anything but pretty (or handsome).

Rejection hurts.

How you handle this crisis is up to you. The choices and decisions that you are currently making (especially attitudinally) are going to determine:

- how long the healing process will take.

- how bumpy the journey will be once you pass through the first gloomy wilderness days/weeks/months.

- whether or not you get stuck in one of the stages of the grieving process.

As one who has already traversed these stormy emotional seas, here are my recommendations to help you sail across your tumultuous emotional sea without capsizing too often.

- If you have children, do NOT ever say or do anything that could negatively impact their relationship with their other parent [your ex or the one from whom you are currently separated]. There's a reason why God gave each of us two parents. You are only 50% of the child raising team.

- Actively support your ex in all things pertaining to the children.

The child(ren) have also sustained a great loss. They did not choose to leave, nor to be left behind. Children are the innocent victims/casualties in all of this.

Dreams

It is essential to have goals and dreams. They give you a reason to get up in the morning. However, it takes more than waking up or going to bed with a dream to turn this hope into a present (or future) reality. It takes a lot of research, careful planning, hard work, consistency, dedication and perseverance. God's blessing is also instrumental in turning your dream into reality -- in spite of all of your preparations.

Sometimes you have to lower your expectations (re a relationship).

Originally posted in my Facebook notes

Monday, October 12, 2009

Sometimes, you have to accept the reality that this person is not going to change, which in turn means that this relationship will never get better.

Photo credit: Adobe Stock Photo

As for me, if I have to choose between loving you and loving myself, I'm going to have to let you go, for I will intentionally do myself no harm.

Consistently placing myself in a negative environment, where I my hopes will be dashed upon the rocks of your callous words, where I will cringe again and again under the glance of your evil eye, …

It makes no sense.

Someone said that doing the same thing again and again while expecting a different outcome is a definition of insanity.
If that be so, can this be any less moronic.

Sometimes, it is better to use the exacto knife of choice to sever your connection from the object of your heart's desire.

The imaginable or unimaginable pain that must result must eventually give way

to healing

to restoration

to a restoration of the man or woman that you once were

before you gave your heart to this brutish one,

who was, is,

and perhaps, no doubt, in the absence of divine intervention,

forevermore shall remain … [insert adjective(s) here]

No longer shall the venom of their words …

… humiliate you.

… cause you pain.

… crush your spirit.

Photo credit: Adobe Stock Photo

Why remain in a "relationship" with one who is incapable of supplying the barest minimum of what you need.

UNconditional LOVE

RESPECT

COURTESY

a SMILE

the occasional HUG

a GENTLE word

a TENDER embrace just because; for no reason;
with no expectation of something more

You don't have to wait until the new year to resolve to do what is …

RIGHT

MAKES SENSE

Maybe it's time / perhaps it's past time to PUT OUT THE TRASH.

I choose to distance myself from negative people [grumblers, whiners, …

… idlers (though I have definitely done my share of this
-- especially in my first 3 years at university)].

It's time for a new year.

a new resolve

a positive outlook

a call to ACTION

NOBODY CAN DO IT FOR YOU.

Loving, caring, …, concerned friends will enCOURAGE you.

They will pray for you.

They may become frustrated by your consistently poor choices and APPEAR to give up on you.

"Charity [Love] NEVER fails …"

TOUGH LOVE DOES "by any means necessary"
THAT WHICH SHE MUST DO

in order to produce the desired effect,

in order to initiate or create the CATALYST that will finally

AWAKEN your befuddled brain

so that you can look into the mirror of reality,

perhaps aided by the mirror of God's WORD …

… and see ever so briefly the heights from which you have fallen

or perhaps

… the depths to which you have sunken.

Look up.

Look out.

Step up.

Shape up.

Better to lose a finger than a hand.

Better to lose a car than your mind.

Better to walk away from that house

than to live the rest of your life as a mouse.

You are homo sapiens;

Meant to walk erect.

Intended to stand tall.

Photo credit: Adobe Stock Photo

Created in the image of God, an heir of the first Adam,
to exercise dominion over all the earth;

not for a MANTU [looks like, sounds like, but
does NOT behave like a man] to have dominion over you.

It's your life.

You gave it away.

Don't you think that it's time for you to take it back?

New Beginnings

Once again, I am at a point of transition in my life; actually multiple points of transition (in various areas).

Photo credit: Adobe Stock Photo

Anchors are good things. People anchors can weigh you down, keep you from taking flight when you need to.

Anchors (including some unique people that God places in your life and mine, often at strategic moments) can help us to remain on an even keel, to refrain from going off on tangents, losing my/our focus and direction.

Ultimately, it is my responsibility to know my purpose and to ensure that my goals, plans and dreams (those that I responsibly pursue) are in alignment with my personal philosophy of life; with my "raison d'être." However, I believe that external accountability is not only a good thing; it is an essential thing.

At various points, at critical moments during my five plus decades, God has placed special people in my life. During my first two decades, it was usually a Sabbath school teacher, a school teacher, a professor a close family friend or an older brother or sister at church.

Often they were mentors, "a hand to guide me," as Denzel Washington would say. His book is a must read. If you have not already read it, you need to [in my opinion (and I have many of them)].

Washington, Denzel and Paisner, Daniel, A Hand to Guide Me: Legends and Leaders Celebrate the People Who Shaped Their Lives

ISBN - 10:0696230496
ISBN - 13:9780696230493

http://books.google.ca/books?id=ILdSeSY8FSQC&printsec=frontcover&dq=a+hand+to+guide+me&ei=oENLSryOL6SCywSViJiKDg&client=firefox-a

From the Publisher:

In his debut as an author, Denzel Washington shares his personal story of the mentors who helped guide his life.

Washington pens the introduction for the stories of more than 70 of America’s leading personalities in theatre, sports, business, and politics as they tell their life-changing stories of mentorship.

Contributors include Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, Antwone Fisher, Bonnie Raitt, Cal Ripken, Alex Rodriguez, Dick Vitale, Whoopie Goldberg and more.

A portion of the book’s proceeds benefit 4.5 million children currently involved in the "Boys & Girls Clubs of America."

From the Jacket:

Denzel Washington started out far from the film world where he has become an American legend. He learned industriousness by running errands and brushing off clothes for patrons at a neighborhood barber shop. Today he is not only an Academy Award-winning actor, he is the national spokesperson for the Boys & Girls Clubs of America, to which he pledges his proceeds from this book.

In his dedication to youth, he has brought together six dozen people with treasured stories to share about the importance of guiding hands and role models when they were growing up.

Working with Denzel Washington and his notable collaborators, best-selling writer Daniel Paisner has helped them tell their powerful stories while staying true to their individual voices.

Now those voices join in the moving chorus of A Hand to Guide Me, a book that pays tribute to the love and generosity of people taking time to help one another, lifting one life at a time.


Remember, too, that we each have a responsibility to give back [pay it forward, some call it]. Were it not for the positive influence of ________ in my life, I would not be ...

... where I am right now.

... the man that I am today.


I have been blessed much more than many insofar as that my first mentors, two of my greatest mentors were/are James Daniel Bailey and Julia Isilda (née Davy) Bailey. My parents modeled many things for my sister and me.

Integrity
Honesty
Hard work and its reward
effective Financial management
Responsibility
good Citizenship
a Giving Spirit
Love
Kindness
how to Entertain others (hosting endless dinners for friends)
Unselfishness
Selflessness
Putting the needs of your children ahead of your own
[My mom worked nights until I was 14. I have no conscious memory of ever being at a babysitter.]

The list is endless.

Denzel's book is beneficial to me but not as beneficial as having learned first hand from the Godly example of parents who neither "spared the rod" (when needed) nor "spoiled the child[ren]"

How could I forget to add the value of education to the list. As I said, the aforementioned list is endless.

Even now, two and a half years after my dad passed away, I still hear the lessons he taught me; lessons that I was often guilty of ignoring (but no more -- usually).


I digressed. I'm blaming Denzel. I would tell him in person, were he beside me.

New beginnings

Transition periods

Fresh beginnings

A time to refocus

Hopefully, by the grace of God, henceforth, wasted minutes, missed opportunities (relatively rare with me, unless I am off on a mission), squandered words will be few.

Thank you CM.

Thank you Rick Warren for your book, The Purpose Driven Life

http://www.purposedrivenlife.com/en-US/Home/home.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Purpose_Driven_Life

John Maxwell, you're on my list. Your books on leadership are almost on deck.

"Mr. Obama Goes to Washington"

“The Invisible Man,” a literary tapestry, skillfully woven together by Ralph Ellison more than half a century ago, depicts the experience of the Black man in America. Several years ago, this book was highly recommended to me, independently by three different people over the space of a fortnight.

Some time later, I bought him, barely glanced at him, then placed my “Invisible Man” upon the shelf, where he remained in his place for many years.

On the eve of this year’s U.S. presidential election, I was on a Greyhound bus, en route to Minneapolis, Minnesota. What more opportune moment could there have been for me, a British-born Canadian of Jamaican ancestry to retrieve my man from the shelf, dust him off and invite him to open up his world to me?

 Fast forward 24 hours. It is a little after 6 p.m. on November 3, 2008. I have just arrived at the Greyhound terminal in Minnesota. I detect no air of mystery; no hint that a heretofore unimaginable, inconceivable phase of U.S., nay, world history is about to unfold.

Fast forward once more. It is the evening of Tuesday, November the fourth. The news anchors have all declared Barack Obama to be the president-elect of the United States of America. John McCain, his Republican rival, has called to congratulate him.

What are the implications of Barack Obama’s historic election victory to:

• the Black child living in abject poverty in the deep south?
• the pregnant Hispanic single mom whose partner left her the week before their son would be born?
• the thousands of Berliners who cheered for him when he spoke to them in their once divided city?
• thousands of U.S. managers and middle managers whose positions have been amalgamated or eliminated as corporations trim the fat in a sometimes futile attempt to remain competitive in a global market place as the world teeters on the brink of one regional crisis after another?

For me, Mr. Obama’s win confirms the hopes and dreams, the belief in the possibility of success in any realm that my mother, late father, Sabbath school teachers, close family friends and school teachers instilled within me.

Has the day arrived in America where a man “shall not be judged but the color of his skin but by the content of his character”? It appears to have knocked on the door of the White House and gained residence therein; but has it worked its way down to the grass roots?

I shall conclude with words of a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow that my mother taught me when I was in my formative years.

“The heights that great men gained and kept

Were not attained by sudden flight;

But they, while their companions slept,

Were toiling upward in the night.”