Parent(s)'s Grief

I can't even begin to imagine the personal nightmare that is now an integral part of Mr. & Mrs. Winehouse's every waking moment. How can a parent handle receiving the tragic news that their 27-year-old daughter has been found lifeless in her bed? My daughter is 27. I have no idea how I would have handled such a personal crisis if I were in their shoes.

Two Saturdays ago, I attended the funeral service of a 22-year-old woman who drowned on Canada Day (July 1st). Her untimely death was a major shock to her parents, siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts, other family members and close friends.

I've never really thought about this situation before now. However, burying your child has got to be the worst possible tragedy that a loving parent could ever face. Children are supposed to bury their parents; not the other way around.

I have no words of wisdom to share. I have no advice to give. All that I can do is to pray for them.

This is one of life's hardest and most cruel tragedies; one that some new families were forced to face today.

At least for Mr. & Mrs. Winehouse, they have each other to hold onto, to cry together, to discuss this tragedy and to recount fond memories of experiences that they shared together with their daughter, Amy.

The couple who buried their daughter were no longer together. As a consequence, during their daughter's funeral service and also at her grave side, each one was not willing or able to reach out to the other. They were geographically together but yet they bore their grief alone.

Sometimes just the tender touch of a loved one is enough.
It lets you know that someone cares what you are going through.
It lets you know that someone wants to share your load.
It lets you know that someone wants to help you to carry your burden.

I hope that tonight when the darkness of sorrow envelopes mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, cousins, friends and neighbours who will never again hear a familiar laugh or be blessed with the dearly departed's beautiful smile, someone will be there to provide them that caring, loving, gentle touch that they need to make it through this storm.

Margaret Trudeau: 'Changing My Mind'

Margaret Trudeau shared her insights on living successfully with bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness) with a full house at the Bram & Bluma Appel Salon in the Toronto Reference Library.

Her journey to good mental health was a tumultuous one. Her motivation in writing her third book, 'Changing My Mind,' was to give hope, encouragement and to shed some light on the path of other individuals who have bipolar disorder and their families. When one has bipolar disorder, it touches the entire family in a very profound way.

According to one of Margaret's psychologists, when you admit that you have a problem, you are half way on the road to recovery.

Another very important thought that she shared is that, "Denial keeps you from getting the help that you need."

Margaret Trudeau is an inspiring speaker. She is living proof that with God in your life, a solid personal social support network, the willingness to press on and do the hard work, you can survive and grow through any adversity.

November 10, 2010

What does it mean to love?

It's very easy to talk love but what do you when it's time to put love into action?

Photo credit: Adobe Stock Photo

When it's 3 o'clock in the morning and the baby's crying again, do you pretend that your asleep and wait for your wife to get up to take care of the baby?

When your friend is homeless, do you let them crash at your place until they can get back up on their feet again? Or are you more concerned about what your peeps would think or say? Or are you worried about how you'll get your friend to leave once you let them stay?

When your friend has no food or bus fare, are you willing to surrender the money that you planned to use to pay for your concert tickets or your new outfit?

Are you really a friend (or just saying so)?

When times are tough for your friends, can they count on you? Are you there to support them in every possible way? at the same time, holding them accountable, sensitively, sensibly, respectfully and in love and not becoming codependent.

"A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity."
Proverbs 17:17 KJV

In Praise of the Metropolitan Toronto Police

For the second time this summer, I had the opportunity to observe some of Metro's finest as they provided a traffic escort during a march. The officers stopped traffic as needed during the annual Scarborough Seventh-day Adventist Church anti-drug, anti-violence march. As always, the mounted police officer's horse stole the show.

Awaiting the start of the
Scarborough SDA Church anti-drug,
anti-violence march on Saturday, September 4, 2010

A couple weeks ago, another team of officers provided a traffic escort during the West Toronto SDA Church's annual anti-drug, anti-violence march.

Saturday, August 14, 2010 at the
West Toronto SDA Church's anti-drug, anti-violence march

During both marches, the officers were friendly, courteous and professional. They were a pleasure to be around. Today, one or two of the officers cheerfully complied when asked to photograph march participants before the event commenced.

I have lived in Toronto since 1967. Toronto is not what it once was, but in my opinion, Canada is still the best country in the world in which to live. I am proud to be a Canadian citizen and I count it both a blessing and a privilege to live here. A significant part of the reason why Canada (in general) and Toronto (specifically) is one of the best communities on earth (in my opinion), is because of the protection and security that is provided on a daily basis by Toronto's finest.

Rain delay in the Rogers Cup 2010 final: Federer versus Murray

A second rain delay has temporarily preempted the Rogers Cup men's single's final. Federer fought back from a 2-game deficit in the first match to tie at 5. Murray won the first set 7:5. Federer leads the second set 2:1 but Murray leads the fourth game 30:0. They will be resuming in a couple minutes.

Yesterday, Federer fought a 3-match battle against Novak Djokovic. Murray had a straight set win over Rafael Nadal. Hence strictly from a physiological standpoint, the rain delay favours Roger.

Rain delay no. 3 just began but the fans are going nowhere. There is once again a sea of umbrellas around the court.

The Courage and Determination of the Human Spirit

At two of the three track meets that I have attended thus far this year, that which impressed me the most was the courage and determination of a couple physically challenged athletes. For these athletes, the expression "physically challenged" was a truism; not a euphemism nor an attempt to be politically correct.

At OFSAA, the Ontario Track & Field High School Championships, this June a young man using a regular wheel chair competed with two other athletes who were equipped with racing chairs in the 1500m.

From the outset, we all knew, as did he, that he had no opportunity of winning. However this young man showed true courage and determination as he did his best and completed his race using the equipment that he had. The crowd appreciated his efforts.

Yesterday at the Canadian Track & Field Championships, for me, two athletes stood out. In both cases, they ran their races positionally at the back of the field in their events [400m and 10,000m]. However, I believe in both cases, they were the only athlete in their competition category so technically, they were front runners from start to finish.

A visually impaired young lady ran the 400m with her running partner (in essence, her eyes) rounding the track beside her. The spectators were too busy scurrying from the stands to take shelter from the pouring rain that started in earnest shortly after the race began to truly appreciate her efforts. I used to run 400's in high school. To run the race, unable to see clearly where the rest of the field is has got to be a trying ordeal.

In the final event of the day, a gentleman, probably in his 40's, ran the 10,000m in a field that include the Canadian record holder in the event. I was reminded a little of Terry Fox since this runner had one prosthetic leg. The crowd appreciated his gallant efforts.

What these three athletes demonstrated is the fact that you can allow life's challenges and obstacles to cripple you or to motivate you to find a means to overcome them. That is a lesson that we all need to learn for we all face seemingly insurmountable obstacles in our journey through life from time to time.

"The show must go on."

In the words of Taj Mahal's drummer, "The show must go on."

To say that they had had a few hiccups would be an extreme understatement. Delayed flights led to an unplanned overnight stay in Washington D.C., group members traveling to Toronto today [Sunday, June 27th] on two separate flights and worst of all, their instruments did not make it onto the plane.

When they took the stage, the audience was unaware of any of this. The fans had braved the elements on a rainy evening; make that a stormy Sunday night to see a Jazz music legend. They got what they came for.