As you start to get into the "Ho, ho, ho" mood as Christmas approaches, please be aware that many of your family members, neighbours and friends are hurting -- even more than usual during pandemic 2020. The emotional pain and heartache of those who have lost loved ones is most keenly felt just before, and during special occasions — especially during the first 12 months immediately following the loss of a spouse, partner, mother, grandma, daddy or papa [father figure], ... or the most tragic and devastating loss -- your child.
When your birthday comes and they are no longer here to share it with you, ...
As your wedding anniversary approaches, ...
Whenever you walk, cycle, rollerblade, or drive near the venue of your first date or first kiss, ...
... the grief is probably most palpable and keenly felt, particularly as Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Christmas and Kwanzaa approach.
Also be mindful that single folks (even those who are married to their careers) will frequently feel a longing for something more; someone with whom they can share Christmas Eve, Christmas dinner or a New Year's Eve countdown.
There is nothing like having a "partner in crime"; someone with whom you can safely dream out loud -- someone with whom you can share your goals and plans.
Someone with whom you are completely open emotionally; someone with whom you can safely share even your insecurities and your fears. And we all have them.
Someone with whom, you can take a spontaneous week-end getaway.
As Pastor T.D. Jakes states, a confidant is someone with whom you don't have to pretend. You can be yourself, knowing that they will love and accept you just as you are, flaws and all.
How much effort does it take to pick up the phone or open an app and make real time voice to voice or, even better, video contact with a friend or a loved one? 40 minutes Zoom calls are FREE. Better yet, FaceTime and WhatsApp calls have no time limit.
Humanity's greatest loss since early 2020 has been significantly diminished in person, face to face human interaction; the inability to enjoy a warm embrace, rubbing your grandchild's back, Grandma taking your face in her hands, ... without fear or concern that one of you could be transmitting the SARS-CoV-2 virus to the other.
Young people (and older adults behaving like teens), short text and other written messages are impersonal. Just make a call until it is safe to visit again. Hearing a warm, friendly voice can be so comforting and reassuring.
Mind you, there is nothing like reading and rereading a handwritten five- or 10-page letter from someone who cares about you. Sigh. Oh, the good old days.
